So, here's the thing: life does not happen on our expected timeline. And if you're like me, this fact drives you bananas. I am a chronic planner and "rusher." My mind is constantly darting from one idea to the next, and I am always running from one place to another. (Like, literally, running. My normal walking pace could almost qualify for the Boston Marathon). And while this may be a positive attribute in some ways, in others, it's detrimental. For one, I can't possibly expect everyone else (or the world as a whole) to keep up with my breakneck speed. Thus, I sometimes find myself losing patience when I arrive for a meeting or social outing early, and others leisurely mosey in at the actual time said event is about to start. And this generalizes to my life in a broader way; when I decide I want something, I don't want it in an hour. I don't want it tomorrow. I want it exactly when I've decided I want it (if not ten minutes sooner). And that just ain't the way the world works, sweetie.
I've taken several (carefully thought out and planned) leaps of faith over the past few years since I got sober and each time I have, I feel excited, happy, and alive. But almost immediately after I've taken the leap (whether it's been a move, a job change, or ordering a dress online), I want all to be settled and finalized. I don't want THE PROCESS. But, I'm realizing, the older I get, and the more leaps of faith that I take, that the journey, the learning, and the biggest rewards are, in fact, in THE PROCESS.
So. I'm trying to enjoy the journey. I'm trying to slow down in very literal ways; I'm actually trying to walk and talk slower these days. I'm trying to be more present and in the moment, rather than thinking about what's next. I'm opening the door for change to happen at the rate it's meant to happen, and not the high-speed, action-packed chase that I would have it occur.
And this is challenging. But, it's worth it. I am more relaxed when I'm successful in my efforts to slow down. I can laugh at the absurdities of the growth process and the Human Comedy as a whole. And that laughter is priceless.
Meditation & the practice of mindfulness has changed my life. Not in the big-bang-holy-cow-everything's-different kind of way; but in softer subtler ways. It brings me down off the edge sometimes. It grounds me. I'm able to breathe more deeply and enjoy more fully.
There's a time to hustle, and a time to relax and wait. Mindfulness Bootcamp embodies these polarities; we HIIT (see what I did there?) it hard, and we interject it with moments of mindfulness, and we end it all quietly and slowly in meditation. If you're struggling to balance the hustle-bustle with being in-the-moment, then maybe you should join us. For at least one hour a week, we can help you achieve this harmony.
The next MB is this coming Wednesday, 7/20 in Sheep's Meadow. Hope to see you there!