How about now?
Whelp, here we are: at the height of the holiday season, and I don't know about you, but I feel like I can hardly catch my breath. Wasn't it just Halloween? Did Thanksgiving even happen? Why are there Santa Clauses everywhere? (And yes, the plural of Claus is Clauses. I checked.)
As we get older, and life grows ever richer with memories, friends, experiences, and the addition of children to our families, time has a funny way of speeding up. This time last year, I was about four months pregnant with Ollie and I had NO idea just how different my life was about to become. Motherhood may just be the best thing I've ever signed up for, and I am completely and utterly enamored with our little dude. And, also, adding children to your life means that you automatically lose about 75% of your coveted "YOU time." Priorities shift and after the incessant diapering, feeding, and loving that you devote to your little one, there is minimal time left for your own pursuits and desires. And oddly enough, you wouldn't change it for the world.
Last week was a tough one. I hadn't been feeling well for a while. And not in the "cough-cough-sniffle-sniffle" way. I felt as if something was really wrong with me. My heart pounded at random times. I felt short of breath more often than not. I was having random and intense panic attacks. I was hot ALL the time. And I just felt really run down and exhausted. After several self-instigated, miserable days of Googling and speculation, I relented and went to the doctor. It turns out I have developed hyperthyroidism. For those of you unfamiliar, the thyroid is a tiny butterfly shaped gland in the neck that regulates metabolism. And mine was (and still is) AMPED UP to the Nth degree. I'm currently in the acute phase of what my endocrinologist suspects is thyroiditis that some women develop postpartum. The usual course of action for postpartum thyroiditis is several weeks of this HYPER phase, wherein the metabolism is working in overdrive, followed by a month or so of HYPO thyroidism, when it slows down. For most women, this self-corrects with time and in anywhere from 6 months to a year, the thyroid begins working normally again. Some women stay in the hypo stage, but that is usually easily managed with medication. I'm now taking betablockers to control the symptoms, and feel much better than last week.
This whole health scare hit really hard. I confess that I am the WORST when it comes to Googling and WebMD-ing my symptoms anytime I get sick. And you all know where that leads: self-inflicted hypochondria and the feeling of total and complete doom. And I allowed myself to exist in this state for a few days before I fearfully and begrudgingly went to the doctor. Not smart. But, I'm working on it. Anyways, as I've written before: perspective on what really matters shifts dramatically in the face of health issues. Whenever I get sick, I find myself thinking about how short our time here is, and how there are still so many things I want to do before my time is up. Sorry if that sounds morbid, but it's true. As the quote goes, "Life is not a dress rehearsal." The time is NOW. And I don't want to regret never having tried or done certain things.
I've been working on a book for quite some time. Before I got pregnant, I was very diligently writing every day and it felt so good to be in that habit. I have always written in one form or another, both for others' consumption, and also to really figure out what's going on in my head. I explore via written word, and have always felt that I write better than I talk. Articles and essays I've written have appeared on various media sites over the years (i.e. MindBodyGreen, Mediaite, SheKnows, etc.) But I've always wanted to finish a book. I'm goal-oriented and I enjoy a challenge. And I feel like I'm not too far from finishing it once I lean into that process again.
It's time. I've got to get back on that horse and just "do the damn thing." I have some other things "I've always wanted to do" that I'll tackle after the book.
What about you? What do YOU really want to do that you've been putting off? The New Year is almost here. Maybe it's time for you, too. Whether you've been wanting to learn how to play the guitar, commit to getting in shape, or go on a solo surf adventure in Costa Rica, there's no better time to start than right this very moment.
You'll never regret trying.